Zipperface (1992)

Starring: Donna Adams, David Clover, Jonathan Mandell

Directed by Mansour Pourmand

Format: DVD (Value DVD to be exact)

Tagline: “You can’t hide the face of fear!

“ZIPPERFACE is the nickname a frustrated police department gives to a mysterious leather clad serial killer whose hideous black leather mask sports a huge silver zipper covering his mouth. ZIPPERFACE is on the rampage, terrorizing the city with bizarre, cool, and calculated murders. The police can find a clue, as victims of ZIPPERFACE continue to mount. Beautiful female detective Ryder who is handling the case has no choice but to go undercover as a decoy to try to solve the mystery, only to find that she is now become the killer’s obsession.

ZIPPERFACE is a tightly crafted thriller that will keep you riveted and hanging on tightly to the edge of your seat!”

My Story:

Yeah, I doubt that. I bought this movie at a grocery store in Fillmore, NY for $1. It is in the exact paper sleeve that you see pictured above. Value DVD in English and Español! I made the mistake of reading a few reviews prior to watching this. I don’t think it’s going to be a very fun night. Let’s watch Zipperface, anyway.

My Thoughts:

  • Pretty intense police raid/hostage situation happening in Palm City, California to start off the movie.
  • The head detective looks like Ron Perlman.
  • They did NOT just censor him saying “motherfucker.” Oh god if this is an edited DVD I’m going to go insane.
  • No, nevermind, she just said “shit.”
  • The prostitutes just said that the killer was a “regular.” I don’t know about that.
  • Um…he just snapped a woman’s neck with a whip.
  • The hookers got away!
  • Sexism in the workplace. Yikes.
  • Why is this landlady being so uncooperative? it’s not hard to answer the police’s questions.
  • “I don’t like girls being called chicks, babes, or broads.” “What about bimbo?”
  • The photographer that takes pictures of prostitutes seems like he would be the prime suspect.
  • Alright, twenty minutes in and it’s made very clear who the killer is.
  • Why would the prostitute go out again after almost being killed?
  • Now the photographer is trying to seduce the detective. Oh yikes.
  • Is the soundtrack to this all MIDI?
  • Camera+wine=total seduction.
  • “Nobody minds too much if a few hookers get killed!”
  • They keep censoring “fuck.”
  • The movie spends too much time in every scene. So basically, I’d prefer if the movie didn’t exist.
  • Are you naked under that robe? Am I bothering you?” People don’t talk like this ever.
  • They even censored all the sex! For a movie about hookers and murder, they sure did cut a lot out.
  • Zipperface is no longer killing just hookers, he’s now killing mediocre theater actors.
  • Nevermind, didn’t kill the male actor. Whose name is Alvin. Just the theater owner and female actress.
  • They just pulled some Scooby-Doo shit, and pulled a wig off of a “suspect.” And then totally discriminated against crossdressers. Real nice.
  • You know when you try to have a conversation using only questions? Or when you hear every like, third sentence of a conversation? That’s what this movie is.
  • The misogynistic coworker is the most annoying character in this movie. Which is saying a lot because I’ve been annoyed since minute one.
  • WAH, YOU HURT MY FEELINGS, WAH, YOU LIED TO ME, WAH, WHAT DON’T YOU PUT ON YOUR SADOMASOCHISTIC OUTFIT AND CRY SOME MORE.
  • Where did this weird political storyline come from?
  • The lighting in this makes me want to cry.
  • Detective Ryder has said “don’t worry I’m a cop” multiple times.
  • Wow, they cut out all nudity, blood, and f-words on this value DVD. Not that any of it could’ve saved this movie, but still.
  • I guess it wasn’t who I thought the killer was! WHATATWIST!

The Verdict:

I buy Value DVDs for a reason, and that reason is usually because they are bad and hard to come by (usually). Well, this was bad in the worst way, and I’m UPSET I came by it, even. Just a really, really poor movie that I picked up out of my horrendous impulse to buy dumb stuff. Hopefully the three other Value DVDs I picked up are better thanZipperface.Mansour Pourmand has luckily made nothing similar since.

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