Category Archives: Comedy

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Starring: Crystal Bernard, Patrick Lowe, Kimberly McArthur, Juliette Cummins, Heidi Kozak, Joel Hoffman, Scott Westmoreland, Atanas Ilitch

Directed by Deborah Brock

Format: DVD

Tagline: “Thrills, Chills, and Guitar Drills”

“The only sane survivor of the first incident, Courtney, dreams of the driller killer returning in the first sequel, Slumber Party Massacre II.She can’t help shake the feeling that she and her friends will be viciously tormented by the killer. Her nightmare becomes reality when the killer returns, reincarnated as an evil rocker with a deadly guitar.”

The Story:

I snagged Shout Factory’s collection of all three Slumber Party Massacre films a couple years ago. I watched the first one, which didn’t do too much for me. It was a fun watch but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to watch the second. Until I read the description. Sounds RAD.

My Thoughts:

  • Juliette Cummins. Lol.
  • James Cummins. Lol.
  • Serious flashbacks to the first one. Actually a really well done recap, in case you hadn’t seen the first.
  • That was a really long “singing in a car” scene.
  • Girl garage band with a super soft lighting. What the fuck is happening?
  • You know this girl Sheila is a yuppie bitch when she asks her friend to get her Perrier.
  • Over the shoulder to HEAD ON SHOT WHAT IS THIS?
  • Hey, Courtney, remember when your sister got killed? Bummer.
  • “Sunday’s my birthday, and I don’t want to go to a mental hospital!”
  • This room:
  • Courtney’s dreams of a driller killer are so weird. Oh god, now they’re happening in real life.
  • Why does the drummer, Sally, always carry pink drumsticks? Just in case?
  • HAHAHA that’s not how you eat a corn dog.
  • A lot of pelvic thrusting.
  • There are always two guys who show up uninvited to a Slumber Party.
  • Slow motion pillow and bra fight.
  • “The more they do it, the louder they get. Practice makes perfect.”
  • Subconscious projection has been introduced as a reason Courtney may be fucking nuts.
  • I hate when people get upset about being splashed at a pool.
  • TJ is a slimeball though. He just punched a blowup sex doll in front of all his friends.
  • Courtney’s losing it. She almost just ate a severed hand sandwich.
  • A whole, uncooked chicken just attacked Courtney. In her subconscious.
  • Sally is one of the greatest songwriters of the 80s.
  • Bloodbath. Courtney is literally in a bath of blood.
  • She should’ve went to a mental hospital for her birthday.
  • It’s 45 minutes in and I’m wondering if anyone will die.
  • HAHAHAHAHAH PIMPLE POPPING SCENE.
  • This cop is an asshole.
  • If I was staying in this house with this crazy girl Courtney, I’d kick her ass out. Even if it is her birthday.
  • Drunk jam session.
  • Holy shit it’s actually happening. He’s got a drill on his guitar. He’s killing people. He doesn’t have a name.
  • That car door was already open, I wouldn’t get in it.
  • But I guess he’s an imaginative demon thing, he could be anywhere.
  • TJ, please die.
  • Courtney broke their only phone. Oh? There was no one else to call besides the police?
  • WHAT IS THIS DRILLER KILLER MUSICAL NUMBER?
  • Sheila is being sang to before she dies.
  • “I can’t get no….satisfaction.” -The Driller Killer
  • Can’t stop, loving YOU!
  • The killer’s laugh is horrible.

The Verdict:

I laughed. A lot. This was absolutely ridiculous. So ridiculous I couldn’t get mad at it. Maybe this isn’t a big deal, but the fact that this and the two other Slumber Party Massacres were written and directed by women is interesting to me. There’s a documentary on the DVD set about all three movies, I’ll have to watch that for some insight. But I think about these movies and others directed by women (Humanoids from the Deep, for example), and wonder what differences, if any, they have to the thousands of other horror and slasher movies directed by men. I’ll have to stew on that, I think.

Teenage Exorcist (1991)

Starring: Brinke Stevens, Eddie Deezen, Robert Quarry, Jay Richardson, Michael Berryman

Directed by Grant Austin Waldman

Format: DVD

Tagline: “Something wicked this way comes…”

“All Hell breaks loose when a young woman decides to rent a creepy old house from a creepy old realtor and the Demons really get cranking!”

The Story:

So I’m breaking the rules a bit. I JUST bought this movie from FYE, used, and it looks scratched all to hell. It looks like the demons were really cranking on it. I have a 30-day money back guarantee on it and I really don’t want to be stuck with this…uhm…gem, unless it works. As you can see, it has an all-star cast. What’s that thing in the bottom right corner of the DVD case? The DVD menu has an option for “Website.” Listen to the theme song in the trailer. I’m stoked about this horror comedy.

My Thoughts:

  • Dead girl boobs one minute and 37 seconds in.
  • If I see Michael Berryman putting a “For Sale” sign in front of a house, I’m not buying it.
  • The moving boxes say “Borden” on them. Nice touch, if it was intentional.
  • The house says it has 12 bedrooms.
  • She’s not even there 2 minutes, and she’s seeing anacondas in her bedroom. Typical.
  • Not the Ouija board. Every damn time.
  • Ghosts and demons always want humans to join them. “Join us, join us.” Come on guys, leave her be.
  • The demon spirits were messing with her milk. Of all things holy.
  • At the twenty minute mark, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of spoof yet…
  • The demon possession has turned Diane (Stevens) into Sandy from Grease. Which is probably where Eddie Deezen comes into play.
  • Nothing worse than a button fly on a pair of jeans. Though Diane seemed to get them off rather quickly.
  • The problem with this for me, so far, is that it tries to touch on too many horror movie norms, but not capitalizing on any jokes. The physical “comedy” isn’t comedic and the jokes aren’t punchy.
  • Demon groping Diane’s sister Sally in the shower. Yikes.
  • Ferrets as rats? I guess…
  • Jay Richardson as Mike is probably the best role. Comedic relief is not necessarily what it is, but it’s relatively funny.
  • So…who is the teenage exorcist? None of these people look to be teenagers. At all. Unless it hasn’t shown up yet and it’s like a super hero.
  • The priest turns the demon into a dog, and Sally goes “My sister; a total bitch.” It’s jokes like these, man. It’s not that funny. Was it funny in ’91?
  • Demons, possession, full moon, midnight, spooky house, rats (sort of), creepy basement, ominous phone calls, doors shutting by themselves, and now zombies. This touches on a lot that’s just not funny.
  • I just don’t seem to get it. No one is trying to exorcise the demon anymore. They are just all remaining in this house not doing much of anything.
  • The priest is doing card tricks for the zombies and, wouldn’t you know it, it’s not really that funny.
  • Do you usually electrocute demons?

The Verdict:

The movie is just a lot of characters standing around waiting for the next opportunity to try and make a horror related joke. Jay Richardson’s performance was amusing. Eddie Deezen was DESCENT (sort of funny). Speaking of, this:

The back of the DVD says “87 Big Minutes.” Ugh, okay. I wish it wasn’t

Home Sick (2007)

Starring: Bill Moseley, Tiffany Shepis, Tom Towles, Lindsey Evans, Matt Lero

Directed by Adam Wingard

Format: Special Edition DVD

Tagline: “Who do you hate?”

“Bill Moseley stars as a smiling maniac named ‘Mr. Suitcase.’ With a briefcase full of razorblades, he crashes a homecoming get-together for Claire (Lindsey Evans) and forces the partygoers to identify people they hate.  Soon, a black-hooded supernatural killer is loose killing each person identified by the teens. The terrified friends realize they may also be viciously murdered because Tim (Matt Lero) awkwardly joked that he hated everyone at the party, too! As the corpses pile up and the body parts fly, the kids enlist the help of a crazed chili loving militia man who can give them the weapons they need to stay alive!”

My Story:

Ah yes, a movie Carly found back in May of 2010 at Strand. It’s got a couple of horror regulars in it. I always love me some Bill Moseley, you know? We’ll see how he does in this movie. I just love the fact that the synopsis had to include the fact that the militia man loves chili. I hope that somehow is of importance in this film. Sounds like it’s going to be a pretty interesting flick.

My Thoughts:

  • A little girl-on-girl to kick things off. Followed by some prick telling one of them to leave.
  • Oh, she’s a prostitute, alright…
  • “This is going to be the worst Christmas ever.” Thanks, cashier in an elf hat.
  • Stop fading in and out of him looking around a small motel bathroom.
  • DEAD HOOKER IN THE BATHROOM. If I had a dime for every time that happened…
  • I don’t know why that opening scene happened. At all.
  • I do wish my name was Mr. Suitcase though.
  • OH, that opening scene was later that night!
  • Yup, that girl is smoking two cigarettes at the same time.
  • This is the most awkward Christmas get-together.
  • Slow-motion Bill Moseley is extra creepy.

  • His teeth are SO white.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHA Bill Moseley was great.
  • Okay, the child molester neighbor at the door was stupid. But I guess he needed some distraction.
  • Pretty good special effects; a solid broken arm.
  • Oh man whyyyyyy did they have to show a curb stomp?
  • Tiffany Shepis, there is no reason for you to be cleaning any cafeteria like a ninja.
  • Jump scare yeahhhhhh. Scared the shit out of me.
  • Why in the hell did that guy just come in and tell Tiffany Shepis that some drug dealer got killed? She couldn’t have found out another way?
  • Opera music always plays in funeral homes right?
  • Forrest Pitts’ voice is bothering me way too much. I almost hope he gets killed off before the others.
  • Okay, you can puke on your dead mother’s body. That shouldn’t be a problem.
  • Come on man, why do you have to cut her foot in half?
  • Tim is so bothersome too. This is bad. Though Devin’s jumpsuit is pretty swell.
  • “Why did you take that picture (of the drug dealer’s split head)?” More importantly, why did you use a Polaroid camera?
  • The child molester is Robert’s boss, and now he has his ribcage ripped open. Good, great.
  • The characters really pay NO mind to these grisly murdered people in this town.
  • I know why this is all awkward. Reasons: Forrest Pitt and Matt Lero.
  • I’ve given up on this movie, for real. I don’t even know what to write about anymore.
  • Claire’s ex-boyfriend Anthony is a nutcase. Almost as nutty as Mr. Suitcase.
  • OH MY GOD THE KILLER IS DIGGING A KNIFE UNDER ANTHONY’S FINGERNAILS. NO. NO.
  • AWWWW YEAH, Lil’ Tommy Towles.
  • I guess the chili is a big part of this…so far. I mean, there’s a 2-3 minute convo about it.
  • I thought Towles was Tim’s uncle. Not his dad?
  • Claire just gave Mark a wet willy…why? This is getting real dumb real quick. Much like my grammar just then.
  • “Just help me get the bars off the windows.” Um…that doesn’t just happen.
  • Oh. my. God. Mark would you stop saying stupid shit to Claire. Please.
  • Plenty of gore, that’s a solid.

The Verdict:

Oh man, that was not that good. It’s unfortunate, the premise sounded somewhat original and interesting, it was just poorly executed. The special effects were fantastic though! And that’s not quite half the battle…maybe a quarter or a sixth of the battle. Regardless, brownie points for sure. I just wish it was better. Solid performance by Moseley, Shepis, Towles, and even Evans to some extent. But the other cast members were kind of weak, and the writing wasn’t all there. Anyways, I’ll leave you with the trailer and, if you come across Home Sick, you can decide for yourself.

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

Starring: Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, Allyson Sereboff, Robin L. Watkins, Joshua Olatunde, Caleb Emerson, Rose Ghavami and Khalid Rivera

Directed by Lloyd Kaufman

Format: DVD

“When a fast food chicken restaurant is built on the site of an ancient Native American burial ground, the displaced spirits unite with the ghosts of exterminated chickens and transform into Indian chicken zombies seeking revenge! Now, it’s up to a dim-witted counter boy, his lesbian ex-girlfriend, and a burqa-wearing fry cook to put an end to the foul-feathered menace once and for all.”

My Story:

This one is a doozy. Every year at Rock and Shock, Troma has a booth.  And for those of you who don’t know what Troma is, I suppose I can give you some insight.  Troma is a production and distribution company that prides themselves on the SUPER low-budget films that their names are on. Mostly horror-comedies and complete “trash.” And not the bad trash, just sometimes revolting content done in a way that’s funny or entertaining to watch.  It all started with Lloyd Kaufman and The Toxic Avenger in 1984. And it has since grown into this incredible company with a huge cult following.

Anyhow, Troma is loved by many, but also hated for the same reasons.  They sometimes release the most absurd films. Like this movie.  The film was made in 2006, but wasn’t released on DVD until 2008 (I think).  I was given a trailer DVD for Poultrygeist at the 2006 convention and had been anxiously awaiting the DVD release.  I couldn’t possibly turn this movie down! I loved Troma’s Toxic Avenger and Terror Firmer, I couldn’t possible NOT enjoy this.

Low and behold, by the time 2008 came around, it sort of left my mind.  I had given up hope on seeing this film. Until one day in FYE, the “Eggs-clusive 3-Disc Collector’s Edition” was staring me down from the Used shelf.  It was a no-brainer, I had to buy it.

I will admit that I HAVE watched this film.  Well, I sort of watched it.  I ended up getting sop annoyed with it/preoccupied with other stuff that it was just left on my television and unfinished.  Tonight, I attempt to watch the whole thing, thanks to Dan bringing it to my attention once again.

The one thing you must know is that…you can’t exactly make fun of a Troma film.  It doesn’t work that way.  The films are so absurd already that making fun of them for what they are trying to do, doesn’t work.  So we’ll see how this commentary goes.

My Thoughts:

  • Yes there is a Poultrygeist theme song that reminds me of Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
  • Lloyd Kaufman’s introduction to Troma movies are ALWAYS so long.
  • American Chicken Bunker is the coolest fast food restaurant name.
  • “Bumping tacos” doesn’t sound like an appropriate name for lesbian sex…oh Lloyd.
  • You’re damn right this is a musical. Oh my god this is insane.
  • A Sloppy Jose! YES! The best kind of sandwich.
  • “Who put these mysterious, vein-covered, pulsating eggs in this box?”
  • Ron Jeremy cameo. Solid.
  • A morbidly obese man on a toilet. If this is all poop jokes, I may cry.
  • I can’t believe they Photoshopped chickens into Abu Ghraib.
  • Second musical number occurs while Arbie (Yachanin) cleans a poop-covered bathroom and Wendy (Graham) is in a protest.
  • Unnecessary nudity scene.
  • I feel like there is some sort of social commentary under all the poop and sex jokes.
  • Director cameo!
  • “I’m Che Guevara, Martin Sheen, and Janeane Garafalo rolled into one fabulous burrito of political activism.” Oh really?
  • Paco would fall into the food processor. Now he’s a Sloppy Jose!
  • To show off a butt tattoo, would you have to always wear thongs to the beach?
  • “I believe in the supernatural when I see it, talking sandwich.”
  • Almost halfway done!
  • “I’m not adverse to hearing what’s on your dirty, filthy little slut chicken mind.” It’s getting real gross, real quick.  I couldn’t have expected any less.
  • “Like Harriet Tubman said, ‘Let them eat fried chicken.'” She didn’t say that…did she?
  • This movie is actually pretty funny.  I’m glad I started giving it another chance.
  • Whoa, nevermind. Diaper fetish and intense vomiting may have just brought this movie back down a notch.
  • The General (Watkins) did not just bite the head off a baby chicken zombie.
  • Human face through a deli slicer, and another head cracked like an egg.
  • Straight up Birds reference.
  • YES! The Faint’s “Dropkick the Punks” is on the soundtrack!
  • Lloyd Kaufman saves the day, but ruins the moment with “Booyah bitches.”
  • So.many.chicken.zombies.
  • HAHAHAHAAHAHA when they turned the Open sign to Closed, the zombies go away. The best.
  • Just wear the mascot uniform, the zombies don’t know the difference!
  • Do humans usually grow by drinking a gallon labeled “Meat Steroids.”
  • Finally another musical number!
  • The chicken zombie boss spontaneously combusted.
  • “America isn’t ready to accept a gay, Mexican chicken sandwich.”
  • There would be a Thriller dance scene. Why must that always happen?

The Verdict:

Wow, wowwwwwwww. That was just craziness. I’m going through the extras now and the original music for this is so entertaining. “All the zombie chickens from Tromaville. All they want to do is kill, kill, kill.” I feel like if I own anything 3-discs or more, I would have to watch at least some of the extras.  Music videos, trailers, tons of featurettes. And a lot of actually seems worth watching after a film so “epic,” so to speak.  It wasn’t great, it wasn’t high-budget, but it was entertaining and well-made. I had originally put it on the Shelf of Shame, but I am considering taking it off now that I gave it another shot.  I NEVER DO THAT! But seriously, it was really funny. It may not be for a lot of people, but it was well written (the film and songs), and the characters were great. A Troma classic. I’m actually upset with myself that it was on the Shelf of Shame. But hey, it happens. If you get a chance to see it and can handle some grossness, violence, racism, obscene sex jokes, and chicken zombies, then see it.

Frogs (1972)

Starring: Sam Elliot, Adam Roarke, Joan Van Ark, and Ray Milland

Directed by George McCowan

Format: DVD

Tagline: “Today the pond…tomorrow the world!”

“Jason Crocket (Milland) is an aging, physically disabled millionaire who invites his family to his island estate for his birthday party.  The old man is more than crotchety…he’s crazy!  Hating nature, Crockett poisons anything that crawls on his property.  But on the night of his shindig, it’s nature’s payback time, as thousands of frogs whip up every bug and slimy thing into a toxic frenzy until the entire environment goes environ-mental.

My Story:

This is something I wouldn’t usually do. But I’ll do it and it’ll be done in an hour and a half. Much like 976-EVIL, I saw a Frogs t-shirt on Fright-Rags. I thought the poster was one of the funniest things and I HAD to find the movie.  Lucky enough, the library had it.  I took it out and hadn’t watched it for two weeks.  Much like if I had to buy the movie, but it’d probably be more like two months.  This should be good.

My Thoughts:

  • I would hate to go into this movie NOT knowing it was about killer frogs, you know? I could almost feel the disappointment if the title wasn’t so blatantly obvious.
  • I go through reptile infested swamps on canoes all the time.
  • Oh boy, here’s the environmental aspect.  Litter, water pollution, God save us all.
  • Okay opening credits, I understand that the swamp is made up of reptiles and trash.  I get it.
  • Uh oh, drunk motorboating.  Not Wedding Crashers motorboating, but legit motorboat on the open water. He’s gonna slam that guy in the canoe.  Close call.
  • Why are the French subtitles automatically on?
  • Sam Elliot was in all denim when his canoe tipped. That’s god awful.
  • Mr. Pickett Smith? Hahahaha, Will Smith’s wife? No, nevermind.
  • “I have suggested pouring oil in the water to kill them off.” Is it too soon to make a BP joke?
  • If Sam Elliot had his mustache in this movie, it would be so much better.
  • WHO HAS A MOUNTED TIGER HEAD ON THEIR WALL?!?!?!
  • Sam Elliot watch out for the…frogs? Does that sound okay?
  • That property is just a dead animal graveyard.  Frogs and snakes and birds and…PEOPLE?! WTF?
  • That dead guy is Bub from Day of the Dead.
  • The father from Creepshow’s “Father’s Day” should pop in right now.
  • How did that snake get onto the chandelier?
  • 4th of July! Just in time!
  • Gah, there are frogs everywhere! I thought there weren’t gonna be frogs in this movie!
  • American Gladiators jousting on a log with pillows, YES.
  • …why didn’t they just call an exterminator?
  • Stop using the same shot of a frog.
  • The rattlesnake was clearly fangless.
  • If they put in another lengthy shot of Sam Elliot walking in the woods, I’ll cry.
  • I would hate to be an animal wrangler on this film.
  • WHAT?! HOW’D HE GET SHOT?!?!
  • Upon further review, this man shot HIMSELF in the leg, and then was attacked by tarantulas and Spanish moss. And one scorpion.
  • Horrors of Spider Island once again!
  • There are frogs on the croquet field. Not okay.
  • The highest-waisted pants ever seen.
  • This is just the perfect 4th of July movie, Independence Day’s got NOTHING on Frogs.
  • In the words of Dan, a friend of mine, “This is Looney Tunes shit.” A LIZARD just spilled two glass jars marked “Poison” and they erupted in poisonous gas when they hit the ground and asphyxiated the man in red pants, Kenneth. That was THEN surrounded by Geico geckos and salamanders post-death. And THENNNN Sam Elliot walked into the green house and the poison gas had vanished.
  • There have been no frog related deaths as of yet.  But the 4th of July cake now has frogs on it.  Gross.
  • I’m pretty certain this lady is gonna get killed by butterflies in a minute.
  • Woman landed in a puddle, yelled “owwwww” and keeps falling down.
  • Maybe the frogs are the animals in charge of this war on people. Because frogs haven’t attacked anyone yet.
  • A rattlesnake bit this woman Iris, and she already turned green. Immediately.
  • I hope the end credits song is “Amos Moses.” It would go along with the fact that FROGS HAVE NOT ATTACKED A SINGLE PERSON.
  • “He got bit by a snake.” “Is that an accident Grandpa?!” No, he picked up the snake and latched it onto his neck. Suicide. Stupid question.
  • I’m just waiting for some sea monster to kill someone next.
  • There is NOT a bird attack. No. No. IS NOTHING SACRED?!
  • Oh my god, the lizard cut the rope for the boat! Now they’ll never get off the god forsaken dock.
  • There is no way she can see from the porch, through the yard and trees and all the way across the pond to know that guy SOMEHOW got dragged underwater…BY ONE SNAKE.
  • OMG BOWSER is in the water!
  • This film is rated PG, just in case you were wondering.
  • “Watch out for the frogs.” THE FROGS HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING!
  • Really, you’re going to give the youngest kid the shotgun?
  • Watch out for that one snake, he’ll pull you under the two feet of water you’re standing in Sam Elliot.
  • Wow Mr. Crockett, you would lift yourself out of your wheelchair, fall on the ground, only to be surrounded by frogs FOR NO REASON.
  • Zero frog related deaths in that film. Zero.

The Verdict:

Dreadful. Very slow and dragging and, like my last comment, no death by frog.  In a film called Frogs that gets compared to The Birds, the film should PROBABLY be about frogs actually attacking people as opposed to influencing other animals to attack for them.  But I guess the filmmakers were like, “Well…while frogs may scare some people, the can’t do much harm when they’re in some Florida swamp.  Let’s make them fascist dictators and have them rule over all other swamp creatures…and KILL people.” Stupid, stupid, stupid idea. This wasn’t a fun bad movie unfortunately.  Actually, I take that back. Some of it was pretty funny. But it would’ve been funnier if the title and cover weren’t so misleading.  The trailer for the film gives a little more info though…so maybe I should’ve watched that first.

I like how my last line before I started the movie was “this should be good.” Never will I say that again. If this was my movie, it would immediately go on the Self of Shame. No doubt about it.

The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It (2010)

Starring: Bryan Callen, Noureen DeWulf, Mircea Monroe, Stephen Kramer Glickman, Steven Sims

Directed by Chris Moss

Format: .mkv file.

My Story:

When the weekends are nice, my family all gets together and we watch movies.  Our family friend has a lot of movies converted onto his computer, so we just hook it up to the TV and there she blows.  Tonight kicked off a marathon weekend of movies in honor of Memorial Day.  We watched three-quarters of When In Rome, which crapped out before the ending.  Then we watched Youth In Revolt, which was better than I expected.  And after almost everyone went to bed, four of us were left awake and we chose to watch this spoof movie.  I do not have this on DVD, this is not something I own.  But with a title like this, I’m not sure if I can pass it up.

My Thoughts:

  • “Morning Wood” is seriously the title song? Oh my.
  • The people impersonating Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan are great…but this movie will be horrible.
  • Sarah Silverman impersonator isn’t too bad either.
  • Reminiscent of Mafia!
  • After watching Superbad earlier today, I don’t know if this is funny or painful to watch.
  • “You look like Hannibal Nipples.” That’s not even a good joke.
  • Twilight spoof! YES! I hope that’s not the only one.
  • Awwww yeah, Twilight came back!  Wait, that wasn’t funny at all…
  • That man’s head is SO small.
  • They aren’t seriously spoofing There Will Be Blood. I really should start questioning why they are spoofing most of these anyways.
  • Like, the Verizon Wireless man came out of a freezer for god sake’s.  If he doesn’t show up again in the movie, I may cry.
  • Censorship bars!
  • HA! Verizon Wireless guy is back.
  • I just sighed so loudly at this movie.  It’s all hitting me.
  • I never saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I’m not sure if I’ll understand some of this.
  • “Toasted” is not a word I hear often in regards to “drunk.”
  • WHY IS STAR WARS BEING SPOOFED?!
  • Bryan Callen…you aren’t funny.
  • Why do I put myself through such atrocities?
  • Oh, nice AfterEffects…not.

The Verdict:

If I owned this movie, I don’t even know if I would put it on the Shelf of Shame.  I’d be so upset about it, I might’ve just gotten rid of it.  Awful, I shouted “What?!” and sighed many times through the movie.  I have never seen Date Movie or Disaster Movie or really any other spoofs before.  Well, I’ve seen Mafia! and some of the Scary Movie series, but nothing THIS bad.  It almost doesn’t even make sense to spoof so many movies by mainly one person, that being Judd Apatow.  It’s like, they had to throw in a Twilight spoof in order for people to be like “At least they made fun of something that isn’t good.”  There’s something graceful about Apatow’s sense of humor.  And when you try to mimic it, even in order to spoof it, it doesn’t match.  The few things I liked, which I had mentioned before, were the initial impersonations of certain actors (who’s characters names were the impersonated actor’s first name).  But these performances didn’t carry well through the movie, because there were so many skips and jumps away from the story.  I’m not going to say that it wasn’t funny, because there were funny parts.  It’s hard for there to be a spoof movie with absolutely NOTHING funny about it.  I just can’t remember what they were because I was fuming more than laughing.  It’s like this one time, these brothers told me how funny Superhero Movie was. I didn’t believe a word of that.  But for whatever reason, I had some faith for this movie.  The most false hope I have ever experienced.  If you plan on watching this, please PLEASE reconsider.  You are just going to get yourself angry.  Or if you choose to watch any of it, the first twenty minutes are your best bet.  I’ve watched about five movies today, and to end with this movie at 1 AM will hopefully work me up so much that I’ll just pass out.

Whew, well, that was a bit rough.  I’ve just never experienced a spoof movie so bad before. Props to casting for the most part though, to leave on a good note. That’s the only good note, however.

Mystery Team (2009)

Starring: Donald Glover, D.C. Pierson and Dominic Dierkes

Directed by Dan Eckman

Format: DVD

Tagline: “Saving the world from sex, drugs, and swear words.”

“They were kid detectives.  Now they’re eighteen and still solving child crimes.  But when the Mystery Team is challenged to solve a murder, they’re pulled into a dangerous world of sex, drugs, and swear words.  From DERRICK Comedy, the Internet comedy sensation whose short films have been viewed over 150 million times online, comes this strangely hilarious, completely unique film that’s been called ‘Encyclopedia Brown meets Napoleon Dynamite with a pinch of Ace Ventura.'” 

My Story:

Well, Mystery Team isn’t a movie that has been sitting on my shelf long.  I only bought it on Saturday.  I have been so eager to watch it though, that it jumped up quite high on my list.  I absolutely love DERRICK Comedy, the comedy troupe that wrote this movie.  I think all their stuff is hilarious.  And I have absolutely no doubts about this movie being funny going into it.  Three friends and I sit down to see what Mystery Team has in store for us.

My Thoughts:

  • Oh my god, this is ten minutes in and I am laughing out loud a lot.
  • Now they have to solve a MURDER!
  • The Mystery Team keeps saying “neato” and I want to start saying it.
  • Bobby Moynihan as the grocery store clerk is fantastic.
  • The Mystery Team goes to a gentleman’s club all dressed similarly to the Monopoly man, that’s priceless.
  • My friend Jimmy is literally crying laughing while watching this.
  • “Flipped faster than a Sunday morning pancake.” Why yes it did.
  • The “whodunit” aspect of this story is really good.
  • The coke dealer in this movie is sketchballs.  But, I would assume that a lot of coke dealers are sketchballs.
  • The comedy is classic. So is the mystery.
  • I love the term “living the dream.”
  • Oh man, the Mystery Team is fighting! 😦
  • I guess the underlying stories are very generic, but the chain of events is incredible.
  • My friend Albert is now laughing hysterically as well.
  • Showdown in the lumber yard!
  • SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL.

The Verdict:

As I said before, I feel that it is quite hard to write about comedy.  As you can see in “my thoughts,” there weren’t too many.  I haven’t figured out the best way to write about comedy yet.  But I didn’t want to keep this movie from you all because it was fantastic.  It was very well written and very funny.  Like I had mentioned, it took basic/classic aspects of comedy and mystery and put them into a contemporary story.  With very crude sexual humor, but funny nonetheless.  One thing that did sort of bother me in the first half of the movie were the same static shots of the Mystery Team.  All three of them would be lined up in front of the camera in a superhero-esque pose as they talk about the mystery.  This could’ve been part of the comedy that I mistook for repetitive shots though, so it really wasn’t a huge problem.  It was a movie that I thought was written very well and kept my attention just as well as any of DERRICK Comedy’s 3-minute shorts.  Very generic comedy and mystery guidelines helped mold a hilarious film that I highly recommend to anyone looking for a break from the same-old.