Category Archives: Documentary

Invasion of the Dinosaurs (1988)

Format: VHS

Tagline: “Solving The Puzzle”

“Dinosaurs were the largest, most ferocious land animals ever to exist. But what were they like? If they were so dominant, why are they extinct? “Invasion of the Dinosaurs” answers these and other questions that have puzzled scientist for years with the help of Dinamation®, lifelike robots resembling those monsters from our distant past. It’s entertainment for the whole family!”

My Story:

Lolwat? “Invasion of the Dinosaurs?” It’s a 30-minute tape, released by Rhino Home Video (which is the same company as Rhino Records, mind you), and I can find very little information on the damn thing. But you guys see the cover, how could I pass that up?! And the back does in fact say “scientist,” not “scientists,” if you were curious. So I’m really hoping it’s only one scientist and a bunch of robotic dinosaurs. I bought this at a used book store when they were getting rid of all their VHS tapes for 50¢ a piece. I’m ready to SOLVE THE PUZZLE!

My Thoughts:

  • You ever know one of those kids in elementary school who was just absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs? I guess that’s who we’re following in this film.
  • He’s sleeping with a picture of a girl. Not a girl dinosaur, a human girl. Love interest pretty early on, don’t ya think?
  • Dream sequence of stars popping into stencils of dinosaurs over harpsichord.
  • This is one of those films I just want you all to be able to see. This is absurd.
  • The language of the book of geology is fossils. Okay.
  • The actual title of this film is “Invasion of the Robot Dinosaurs.” Accompanied by a rock guitar riff.
  • This is one of those science videos you watch in school. It’s incredibly bland but trying SO HARD to be cool.
  • That kid that was at the beginning of the film? Sitting in the back of a Cadillac convertible (which is leading a long train of other classic cars, with a girl (the one in the picture), both wearing dinosaur sunglasses. The most badass thing I’ve ever seen.
  • All those classic cars were carrying kids to a dinosaur museum.
  • The minute long montage of the same two animatronic dinosaurs didn’t do much for me.
  • The girl and the boy just locked eyes across the dinosaur exhibit. Love.
  • I’m incredibly uninterested in dinosaurs. But this one kid is having a goddamn blast.
  • Oh my god, there is a weird dramatization between that boy and that girl about Mary Anning, a fossil collector. SHE FOUND A SKELETON OF A MARINE DINOSAUR?! I’m learning.
  • Kid in all denim doing karate moves at the screen seems out of place.
  • Second weird dramatization between denim boy and our protagonist. This time, about rival paleontologists.
  • How good was Pangea?
  • These kids have their grimy paws all over this dinosaur exhibit. Where’s security?
  • It’s sad to think that Dinamation went under 😦
  • Yo, I don’t want to watch some dumb 10-year old’s finger paints of volcanoes anymore.
  • “We might say that this is the age of ROBOT DINOSAURS!” Yeah, well, that age has come and gone, bro.
  • Dude, if I worked at a museum and I saw a class of 4th graders doing a conga line through the dinosaur exhibit, I’d kick their asses out.
  • This denim kid is running around like the animatronic dinosaurs are chasing him through the museum. What are you doing, dude?
  • What, did that kid just dream up all that knowledge about dinosaurs? Is this all fake?
  • Directed by Jonathan Ayre

The Verdict:

I mean, this was just a very dated science class video. That’s all it was. I don’t know what my life has come to. There is a rather awesome credits song, though. Want the lyrics?

There’s a lot of misconceptions about dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs weren’t just terrible lizards.
Dinosaurs weren’t pea-brains.
Some dinosaurs were pretty big,
but dinosaurs aren’t stupid!
Dinosaurs ruled the Earth for 140 million years.
Tyrannosaurus (2x)
Tyrannosaurus has got a bad rap.
I wouldn’t want to be his dentist.
I like that one too.
His wings were mad from a single flap of (inaudible).
Ohhhhh terror sore (?).
(inaudible) back in dinosaur days.
They didn’t have skyscrapers!
Dinosaurs didn’t celebrate mother’s day!
Dinosaurs lived off the land.
Dinosaur, stegosaur, panasuar, sabersaur, triceratops
Something happened to the dinosaurs.
Some say it was a comet, or an asteroid, or could it babe a (inaudible).
But something big went down.

NOTE: The Dream Girl found this post, and mentioned it in her blog. Check it.